I pass a girl on the street
Or what’s left of her
She stares straight ahead
Slight scowl as if she owns the world
When really it owns her
That long blond hair
Those skin-tight pants
Those sultry lashes
That nonchalant glance
But really, did she stand a chance?
You look so good! Have you lost weight?
I ate too much – I won’t eat for a week
I’d be so pretty ten pounds thinner
My face is too round, I hate my cheeks
Tonight I probably should skip dinner
Have you seen her lately? She’s gained so much
Back to the gym!
I should skip lunch
Flip flip flip
Through the channels, the magazines
The female body
Reduced to a preteen’s.
The plastered smiles
The tapered waists
The long slim legs
The voluminous hair
The disembodied parts
That somehow don’t sum to a whole
But was that ever the goal?
A whole woman is quite formidable
She has brains
She has ambition
She takes risks
Her heart is ablaze
She scorns the male gaze
And perhaps it scorns her,
But no matter
She has greater concerns
Than if she’s gotten fatter
She has dreams
She could change the world.
But no, no, that’s too risky
Much safer to realize
That your value rests
In the shape of your thighs
Because there’s a quick fix to that!
A crash diet,
A pill,
Squats to burn fat,
Safely tucked inside yourself
There’s no obligation to anything else
No goals or dreams
No quest or chase
You can be – thank God! –
Just another pretty face.
You can peddle yourself
For a cheaper version
One smiling and sweet,
And hell-bent on aversion
Of confusion, rage, questioning, doubt
Of the determination
To figure it all out.
No, no, let that go!
Stay safely between the four corners
Of your bathroom mirror.
It’s easier.
Yes, it’s easier to measure yourself
By the length of your lashes
And the volume of your lips
The shade of your skin
The width of your hips
Much harder to face yourself
And say
Who the hell am I?
Well, I am a prisoner
It’s not hard to say
My chains the strings of calories
I’ve been counting all day
My ball the dreaded white square
On the bathroom floor
I wonder what freedom would feel like
If I finally said no more.
If I said, I am worth so much more!
I may not fit inside that mannequin form,
That white plastic vapor,
No, I may never conform
But is that what I want?
To be tethered to some standard
Set for me by some arbitrary being
Who directs these things
Does he even exist?
But you have to be thin!
You have to be young!
You have to be beautiful!
You have to be trim!
You have to be soft!
You have to be sweet!
You have to be small!
You have to be chic!
You have to be skinny!
But of course, with big tits,
You have to be sexy!
You know what?
That’s bullshit.
I have to be me,
And I am enough.
A dreamer,
A reader,
A thinker
And I will take up space
I’m tired of shrinking
I’d rather be
dreaming, reading, and thinking.
Yes, don’t you see?
There is so much more to you
And you can say so
You can scream it!
You can be free.
Fearless 