Photo taken from: http://www.divezonebath.co.uk/courses.html
Today I’m joining the Spiritual Journey Thursday community with Greg Armamentos’s One Little Word (OLW): DIVE.
DIVE, of course, stands on its own (dive deeper into adventures, experiences, passions, etc.), but for Greg, it is also an acronym: Dwell, Ignite, Venture, Embody.
To dive into something means to be immersed. It means launching yourself off of the edge where you stood hedging and contemplating and standing still. It means willingly submerging yourself into the water, ready to let it overtake and envelop you. It means taking action.
When it comes to faith, I’ve wrestled with doubts. I’ve read Hawking and Hitchens and Nietzsche. Conversely, I’ve read Lewis and Keller and Kierkegaard and I’ve challenged myself: Why do I believe what I believe? And I’ve come to the conclusion that I do, in fact, believe there is a Creator and I do believe in His Son.
But it doesn’t end there. It gets more complicated. How do you reconcile pain, privilege, and complicity? How do you grapple with bigotry, the balance between belief and action, the humanness that inevitably creeps into holy institutions? What do you do with the grayscale of life, the vast spectrum between black and white?
And what’s more: When is faith true and when is it a shiny, gilded, meaningless badge happily and obliviously pinned to a life that continues on as usual as though nothing radical and life-changing has happened? When is it genuine and when does it become something else: a justification or a comfort or a performance?
I think. A lot. I lay awake and I wonder what my purpose is, how God can use me, my immense smallness.
But I rarely take action.
I rarely dive. I rarely speak up or serve. I rarely cling to what I know is absolute truth – God’s unerring justice and His staggering love, the kind that allows Him to wipe away my staggering ineptitude – and let it wash over me, awe and transform me.
I want, in addition to pondering, digging deeper, and trying to understand, to do. And I want to do something that matters, live a life that loudly proclaims what I profess. I want to be able to serve and to wield the gifts God has given me for something worthwhile. I want to love people – people of every race, color, age, status, occupation, sexual orientation, nation, belief, affiliation – radically and profoundly.
I want to dive.
Fearless 
Libby, in response to your term, “my immense smallness,” God has found you as a beacon to young adults who are grappling with profound issues. Your immense smallness is the net to catch more fish as in the days of the disciples. God worked miracles with their ordinary lives and I believe that He is using your young voice to bring others to the living waters He provides. Welcome to your first Spiritual Journey Thursday blog. Your voice is refreshing our deep dives.
I’m too teary-eyed to leave a thoughtful response, but I am incredibly moved by this reflection. Thank you for sharing such vulnerable musings. I have no doubt that your earthly parents, and Heavenly Father, are immensly proud of you. As He said from a cloud, before His one-and-only son had performed a single miracle, or won a single convert – “You are my son, whom I love. With you I am well pleased.”
I hear the passion in your voice. I am so glad you have joined this meme. We are a community of faith. We trust and support one another. So go ahead…Dive. There is a safety net. But I don’t think you’ll need one. Sounds like you already have a very strong foundation.
I think we all wonder what our purpose in life is – even those of us who have probably lived half of our lives already. “True faith” is a constant struggle for me because I want my faith to be visibly genuine. That is what this group is all about. Welcome! I know your mom is excited for you to join us! 🙂
Welcome, Libby! Such an honest post. These words, “I want to be able to serve and to wield the gifts God has given me for something worthwhile,” show you are ready to dive. Thanks for joining our Thursday group.
I think of how God uses my doubts to help me grow in faith. That He walks with me through the difficult times to help me reach the mountaintops. It often makes me think of Andy Andrews’s book The Noticer. Jones so eloquently points out that its when things are in the valley that they grow, while the peaks of mountaintops are barren. He is with us through our path. This was a beautiful reflection.
Intense question: “When is faith true and when is it a shiny, gilded, meaningless badge happily and obliviously pinned to a life that continues on as usual as though nothing radical and life-changing has happened?” This question is so convicting, and I have a hard time facing it. One of the things I love about Francis Chan’s The Forgotten God (http://forgottengod.com/) is that he challenges us about our fears of the Holy Spirit – because what if It/He/She asks us to do something we don’t want to do? The Spirit’s power is so awesome and so radical. Are we ready for that? I love how you ended your post. ” I want to dive.” I’m SO excited that you’ve joined us in these last few weeks of OLW writing. I hope you stay with us. 😉
I need to look up The Noticer!! I love that concept about the valleys vs. the mountaintops!
Libby, I am so proud to read your words! I hear your voice and passion. (Actually it reminds me so much of my daughter’s words.) I believe that anyone who says: “I want to love people – people of every race, color, age, status, occupation, sexual orientation, nation, belief, affiliation – radically and profoundly” are already doing it! Dive in, Be a radical lover of all people! Jesus was as is. You can’t ask for a better role model, can you.